Open class! Stop internal friction!3 ways to Keep this toxic emotion from ruining yourself
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(Reprinted from China.org.cn Psychological China)If you could use one word to describe your emotions at this moment, what would it be？How are you feeling？
Emotions, like an invisible hand, control our lives, and its influence is everywhere。When emotions are not seen, perceived, or released, they can even alert us by attacking the immune system。For example, many women have problems with the breast and uterus, which are more or less related to emotions。So, don't ignore the reminders our emotions give us。
Many people often say, "It's the other person, it's the environment...That's why my emotions..."But if you do, you're handing over control of your emotions to someone else。In fact, emotional states can be adjusted through autonomous training。
Let's focus on ourselves today,Here are 3 ways to take control of your emotions and become the master of your emotions。
Record emotions
Have you ever been in a situation where:
Frown, tighten your scalp, or feel anxious before anything has happened。Or other people's understatement, to their own mind is a mystery: "Why is he showing me this look?？He doesn't hate me？"I've been feeling like something's wrong lately, is something bad going to happen?？"Whether I should do it or not？Will you get good results after doing it？”……
This is all part of diffuse anxiety, which, in short, isHabitual anxiety is a kind of mental internal friction。
Mental internal friction, also known as psychological internal friction, that is, in the heart and their own struggle, fighting。Just like the mobile phone battery has just been fully charged, it has not been long, because there are too many programs running inside the mobile phone, it soon lights up a red light, declaring no power。In the long run, people will feel very tired。Those who can not say tired is not physical fatigue, but mental consumption。
Similar self-attack more, will feel very anxious, energy is difficult to concentrate, but the more so, the greater the sound of attack, vicious circle, people will be more and more anxious。
So, you need to look at the message behind these voices。When we are aware of the source and impact of these voices, it is easier to understand the entanglements in our lives and to respond more securely to inner disturbances。
想要To become aware of your inner voice, you can follow these two steps:
self-observation
Become aware of your own inner voice of feelings, emotions, beliefs and attitudes so that you can better understand your inner situation, become aware of different inner voices, and learn to recognize and react to them。
You can try this "Self-emotional Checklist," which can help you better understand your emotional state, patterns of emotional change, and emotional expression, which can help improve your emotional stability and mental health。You can also tailor your list to suit your needs。
Photo Credit: Not Tired: A Super Simple Energy Management Lesson
self-acceptance
In the face of different voices, we need to recognize the relationships and differences between these voices。Master your own inner state and emotional activity rules, and deal with the contradictions and conflict points between different voices with a positive attitude。
First, we need to acknowledge the existence of internal friction。Don't try to avoid it or deny it。Second, identify the internal friction and the beliefs behind it。
Reasonable beliefs cause people to have moderate emotional and behavioral responses to things;Irrational beliefs, on the other hand, often lead to adverse emotional and behavioral reactions。This is what psychologist Albert Ellis called the ABC theory of emotions。
The external stimulus event A, through the mechanism of the intermediate process (that is, our mental beliefs about the event B), produces different emotional and behavioral consequences C。Therefore, if belief B is not changed, our behavior will not change。
The ABC theory of emotion。Photo Credit: Not Tired: A Super Simple Energy Management Lesson
Unreasonable beliefsIt includes the following three aspects:
(1) Absolute requirements。They believe that things must go their way, so they often change the words "want" and "want" into "must" and "must.。For example: "I have to be the thinnest person!"
(2) Overgeneralization。This is a generalized way of thinking。It often overgeneralizes "sometimes" and "some" into "always" and "all."。For example: "I can never do anything right。”
(3) Feeling terrible。Thinking that if a bad thing happens, it will be very scary and bad。For example: "If I get any fatter, people will despise me.。”
To deal with unreasonable beliefs, Ellis added disputing (D) - the process of refuting unreasonable beliefs with reasonable beliefs - and E (effect) - refuting success, producing cognitive effects and new perspectives, to the ABC theory of emotions。
Through the ABCDE theory of emotions, we can discover our irrational beliefs。By challenging our own irrational beliefs, we can find more reasonable and effective ways of thinking and beliefs, thereby changing bad emotions and behaviors。
最后，If you can't find a better solution for a while, don't waste your energy fighting the problem, because confrontation tends to be more costly。
Relax muscles
A lot of times,Mental problems can lead to physical problems, and physical problems can also react to mental problems。For example, anxiety can cause insomnia, poor concentration, memory loss, loss of appetite, palpitation, chest tightness, dizziness and headaches。Similarly, the state of the body can directly or indirectly affect people's attitudes and emotions。
Doctor Edmund Jacobson said, "When our body is relaxed, our mind is not anxious.。He invented a relaxation technique - progressive muscle relaxation method, by repeatedly contracting and relaxing the main muscles of the body, people can experience different feelings of tension and relaxation, so as to better understand the nervous response and relax, and ultimately achieve the effect of physical and mental relaxation。
Now, let's feel it together
In the process of formally practicing progressive muscle relaxation, youYou can use abdominal breathing to slowly regulate your breathing。Let your body relax gradually, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly。
Inhale, lift your forehead muscles up as far as you can, tighten fully, tighten again, hold for 10 seconds with the inhale, and then exhale to release。Do you feel a relaxation in your forehead？This can be repeated up to five times。
Next, inhale deeply while frowning as much as possible, hold for 10 seconds, then exhale to relax。Do you feel a relaxing sensation between the brows？Again, this can be repeated five times。
Next, while inhaling deeply, open your mouth as wide as possible, hold for 10 seconds, and then exhale to release。Do you feel the masseter relax？Again, this can be repeated five times。
Next, inhale deeply while shrugging your shoulders up as far as you can and hold for 10 seconds。Then exhale and release.。Do you feel your shoulders relax？This can be repeated up to five times。
And so on, relax your muscles from head to toe。As your body relaxes, you'll find that your emotions magically relax as well。
You can find a comfortable position, but try not to fall asleep, which is conducive to experiencing the feeling of complete relaxation。Keep your clothing loose and remove unnecessary accessories to avoid distractions during the process。You can also record the relaxation step first and follow the audio to get into the state。
Before you practice, you can look at your body and find areas to focus on。For example, anxious people often frown, so they will feel that the forehead muscles are very tight, and you can focus on practicing this area when practicing。
You can refer to the Muscle Relaxation Assessment Checklist, which can help you better review your training results:
▽ Photo credit: "Not Tired: Super Simple Energy Management Lesson"
In daily life, even if there is no condition to relax the whole body, you can also take time to do local muscle relaxation exercises, which can also bring relaxation effects。
Tidy up the environment
Is there a relationship between environment and energy management？Yes, and very large。
The study found thatChaotic environments can invisibly weaken a person's sense of self-control。In other words, the messier the room, the less constraint you have on yourself, and the more likely you are to make impulsive, irrational behavior decisions。
If you want to adjust your external environment, then you can first think about the way you want to live, your inner desire for home, the better。
Once you have a clear idea of the environment you want to live in, the next step is to find out how to operate。In the field of organizing and storage, there are many different methods and schools, we can choose according to personal preferences to suit their own way。
例如，Life coach Gail Blanke suggests starting by getting rid of 50 unwanted items。For example, only one sock, clothes you haven't worn in years, lipstick that has dried out, things that give you negative energy, and things you don't know why you keep...Make an inventory of what you left behind。
Japanese storage expert Eiko Yamashita mentioned that the screening criteria are: necessary, appropriate and pleasant。Cut out the things you don't need, get rid of excess waste, and get rid of attachments to things。Being honest about your relationship with your stuff, and getting rid of things you don't need in the moment, will give you more clarity about your lifestyle and style。
Mari Kondo, another storage expert, sets a standard: Ask yourself if this item still makes you feel good。You can pile things out first, and then feel for yourself, whether it still has a heartbeat feeling。You may find something that you forgot about for so long that you don't even remember it existed。This is also a way to "flip out" your consciousness completely。
If you're still torn and unable to make a decision, the simplest rule is this: If you were offered money now, would you still buy it？
This method may seem simple and crude, but it is practical and effective。Because deep down you must know what you really want, right。By decluttering, your brain will become clearer and more perceptive。
Not only books, cosmetics, jewelry and clothes, but also friends do not need too much, leaving can make you feel the heartbeat is enough。
(Author: Xin Li)
作者:
编辑:Zhang Xiule
